Homeopathy is an entire medical system, with its own highly diluted medicines, and it’s very easy to understand – if you use a lot of psychedelic drugs or are an anthropologist. Otherwise, it’s a bit like Alice Through the Looking Glass and you will have to suspend everything you think you know to begin to get your head around it.
Homeopathy is founded on the principal that like cures like. Seems easy enough. But in practice it means that instead of taking something that stops the symptoms you have you take something that will amplify them to overcome them and cross them out. Ish. So the next time you burn your finger in the kitchen, run hot, not cold water over it immediately. (Then add calendula cream, because they also use herbs like herbalists do.) I’m not kidding. Your mind will be blown.
Another principle of homeopathy is dilution. All medicines are made from natural substances (plant, animal, rock, tissue matter) and diluted incredibly, with shaking the dilutions as you go. Modern technology cannot discern particles of the medicinal substance left when the diluted material is finished. In homeopathy we believe the essence of the substance remains, like an energetic fingerprint. And the more dilute the more powerfully and gently it acts.
Say whaaaaat? Like I said, psychedelics. Or anthropology, the study of which is basically like taking years of psychedelics.
Here’s what you need to know: homeopathy is the bomb in terms of natural medicine. When the remedy selection closely matches the portrait of pathology, suddenly the symptoms of the illness disappear. When the remedy is taken long enough in high enough potency, symptoms can be completely eradicated.
You will recognize a homeopath because they seem like they are on psychedelics. Firstly, they are way too friendly. Then, in their intake they ask you the most bizarre and random questions you have ever heard, until you suspect they got their license out of a cracker jack box and then BAM! their eyes light up like a blood hound that has caught the scent and they start attacking their computer madly or flipping maniacally through a volume of books the size of the old Toronto yellow pages.
The questions then get more bizarro – yet more directed – until eventually you are embarrassed you listened to your friend and what were you thinking she always gets you into trouble and how the hell are you going to get out of this now? When you’ve had it and are just about to walk out the room, you are handed 2 white pellets in a tiny glass vial by the quack who is now smiling and nodding and patting you on the back like a minister while telling you how to take them without even swallowing the actual pills. So now you know it’s actually voodoo medicine and you drop them in your purse nodding and pay and get out of there post haste, now on a mission to find your girlfriend and promptly murder her.
When she sees you she convinces you to try the pellets, since it’s all quackery anyway, (more of the creepy, exaggerated smiling) and you do and damn if you don’t feel worse within an hour. For a week it’s like every pain you’ve ever had has come back, in succession! That voodoo quack poisoned you! How is this possible from 1tbsp of water that just touched one pellet? The following Monday when you rise, ready to call her office and demand a voodoo antidote and refund you realize with a jolt – hey, wait a minute here, you don’t feel too bad. Your back actually doesn’t hurt. You can turn your head to both sides. The bunions on your feet actually seem to be disappearing! Honestly, you feel freaking amazing! You get up and get moving and realize you haven’t had this much energy in years. And holy crap, is your eczema better? How in the hell can that be in only one week? As the day progresses, you also notice you aren’t angry at everything and things don’t bother you like they usually do. Hey, did that voodoo whacko give you some sort of super concentrated THC?
This improvement in your physical and mental state lasts for weeks or months, and when it fades you grudgingly go back for more crazy questions to get the next dose. Clearly, your batshit friend has brainwashed you and it’s a simple matter of whacko voodoo placebo that’s making you feel so good.
Because bunions and eczema don’t just go away even if it really for real looks like they did. For sure. Positively. Because some doctor would have told you if that sort of thing were actually possible. Wouldn’t they?
And that, is homeopathic medicine.